Lab Bench Par Therapy

Delhi ki garmi aur semester ki tension ka combination waise hi dangerous tha, aur us din lab mein meri partner ne bina dekhe bola—“Agar report fail hui na, main sach mein ro dungi.”

Main ne pipette ko side mein rakha aur uski taraf dekha. Sana Qureshi apne safety glasses ke upar se mujhe aise dekh rahi thi jaise mazaak kar rahi ho, but uski voice mein jo thin si crack thi, woh thodi alag thi. Lab mein baaki students apne-apne beakers aur test tubes ke saath busy the, aur AC bas naam ka chal raha tha. South Campus ka woh crowded practical room waise bhi hamesha thoda suffocating lagta tha, but us din hawa mein kuch aur heavy tha.

“Report fail?” maine calmly bola. “Pehle experiment toh pass ho jaane do.”

Sana ne snort kiya. “Arre wah, professor mode on. Dekho, mujhe judge mat karna, main already emotionally unstable hoon.”

Main ne uski taraf bas ek chhota sa nod kiya. Sana aise hi thi—fast-talker, sharp, always ready with a joke. Class mein sabko lagta tha woh chill hai, full-on no tension wali type. Main uske opposite tha. Main zyada bolta nahi tha, aur jab bolta bhi tha, usually practical points ya assignment deadlines ke baare mein. Log mujhe “kaafi composed” samajhte the. Main unhe correct nahi karta tha. “Main theek hoon” bolna aadat bhi thi aur shield bhi.

Us din humari pairing randomly hui thi. Practical teacher ne naam padhte hue bola, “Aarav aur Sana, together.” Sana ne meri taraf dekha aur bola tha, “Acha, tum ho woh silent guy. Great. Mujhe talking ka quota complete karna aasaan rahega.” Main bas smile kar diya tha. First impression mein hum bilkul opposite lage honge—woh loud, main quiet; woh jokes, main notes. Par shayad stress ke patterns surface ke neeche kaafi similar hote hain. Dono hi bas different ways mein drowning the.

First lab week mein humne kaam theek se kar liya tha. Sana ne environment light rakha, main ne calculations aur observation sheet sambhaal li. Teacher ne bola, “Good coordination.” Sana ne whisper karke bola, “Dekha? Science mein bhi chemistry hoti hai.” Main ne us time pe sirf “hmm” kiya tha, but sach yeh tha ki uske saath kaam karna easy tha. Woh awkward silence ko joke mein convert kar deti thi, aur main uske jokes ke beech ka real signal pakad leta tha. Pata nahi kaise, but ek comfortable rhythm ban gaya tha.

Phir deadline season aa gaya. Delhi-NCR ki usual fast life ke saath semester bhi race ki tarah chal raha tha—internals, assignments, viva prep, attendance ka drama, aur upar se metro mein push-and-pull. College gate se leke canteen tak sab log bas ek hi mode mein the: “bhai, bas survive karna hai.” Sana har roz same confidence wala face pehen ke aati thi. “Main toh ho gaya yaar, bas thoda sa revision baaki hai,” woh bolti, aur phir practical record ke page ulte jaati is tarah jaise usse yaad hi na ho ki kaunsa experiment kis topic ka tha.

Main bhi kuch alag nahi tha. Raat ko notes revise karta, formulas likhta, aur family ke messages ka reply ek hi line mein deta: “Haan, sab theek hai.” Sach yeh tha ki theek kuch bhi nahi tha. Mera chest aksar aise tight ho jaata tha jaise koi invisible hand usse squeeze kar rahi ho. But main us feeling ko kaam mein drown kar deta tha—dusron ki practical sheets check karna, lab ke shared printer se unke assignments nikalwana, kisi ka viva topic explain kar dena. Help karte rehne se apni anxiety thodi der ke liye chup ho jaati thi. Temporary silence, bas.

Sana ko bhi lagta tha ki main naturally calm hoon. Ek din canteen mein, jab hum dono chai ke liye line mein khade the, usne bola, “Yaar, tum itne shaant kaise rehte ho? Mere andar toh daily 17 tabs open hote hain.” Main ne kaha, “Bas aadat hai.” Woh has di. “Aadat ya numbness?” Main uss second kuch bola nahi. Canteen ka noise, chai-wale ki awaaz, aur kisi junior ka “bhai ek samosa extra” sab ek saath chal raha tha. Par uske question ne mujhe thoda der ke liye freeze kar diya tha.

Usi week lab mein ek experiment bigad gaya. Colour change jo aana chahiye tha, woh aaya hi nahi. Sana ne pehli baar bina joke kiye bas reagent bottle ko dekha aur long exhale kiya. “Nahi ho raha,” usne dheere se bola. “Mere paas aur patience nahi hai.” Main ne data sheet check ki. “Shayad proportion galat hua hai,” maine kaha. “We can redo it.”

“Redo?” Sana ne thoda sharply bola. “Aarav, yeh mock hai, final nahi. Kal family call hai, uske baad viva, phir assignment submission. Main already sab mein late hoon. Aur mujhe lag raha hai main har cheez mein fake kar rahi hoon.” Uski awaaz pehle sarcastic thi, phir suddenly soft ho gayi. Usne apni eyes rub ki aur laptop screen bandh kar di. “Sabko lagta hai main manage kar leti hoon. Par honestly, I’m tired.”

Woh pehli baar tha jab uski voice mein performance nahi thi. Main kuch seconds chup raha. Usually main logon ko turant solution deta tha—“yeh karo, woh karo, tension mat lo”—but us moment mein koi solution nahi tha jo uske face pe likhi exhaustion ko erase kar de. Main bas uske side mein khada raha aur bola, “Main bhi.”

Sana ne meri taraf dekha. “Kya?”

“Main bhi tired hoon,” maine repeat kiya, thoda awkwardly. “Bas dikhata nahi.” Itna bolte hi jaise koi lock khul gaya ho. “Mera bhi same scene hai. Main sabki problems sun leta hoon, par apni waali cheezein ignore karta rehta hoon. Lagta hai agar main ruk gaya toh sab gir jayega.” Main ne shoulder shrug kiya, jaise yeh confession normal ho. “But truth? I’m not that strong.”

Sana ne pehle mujhe dekha, phir table par bikhri sheets ko. “Okay,” usne slow voice mein bola, “yeh unexpectedly depressing tha.”

Main ne hansi rok li. “Tumhari language mein bole toh?”

“Tum bhi fake calm ho,” usne kaha. “Mujhe laga sirf main hi hoon jo dramatic anxiety ka full subscription leke baithi hoon.” Phir woh thoda sa smile ki. “Nice. We’re both losers.”

“Losers with lab coats,” main ne add kiya.

Usne pehli baar genuinely laugh kiya. Woh laugh thodi shaky thi, but real thi. Us ek laugh mein kuch relax ho gaya. Uske baad humne experiment dubara set kiya, par is baar kaam ke beech beech mein baat bhi karte rahe. Sana ne bataya ki ghar pe usse hamesha “top karna hi karna hai” jaisa pressure milta hai. “Mere parents directly kuch nahi bolte,” usne kaha, “par unki silence mein bhi expectations sunai deti hain. Aur main har semester sochti hoon ki bas is baar perfect ho jaaun. Par perfect hoke bhi darr khatam nahi hota.”

Main ne apne notebook ke corner par pen chalate hue suna. “Mere ghar mein bhi simple hi hai,” maine bola. “Log bas assume kar lete hain main handle kar leta hoon. To main bhi unhe wahi dikhata hoon. Kabhi kabhi lagta hai ki agar maine bola ‘mujhe help chahiye,’ toh sabko disappointment hoga.”

Sana ne apni chai ka cup uthaya, phir rakh diya. “Bhai, same. We are truly a disaster duo.”

“Officially?”

“Unofficially therapy clients,” usne turant bola.

Uske baad humari lab partnership ek alag hi cheez ban gayi. Practical ke bahane emotional check-ins hone lage. Kabhi lab bench pe, jab teacher kisi aur group ko explain kar raha hota. Kabhi canteen mein, jab aloo tikki khatam ho chuki hoti aur sirf thandi chai bachi hoti. Kabhi library ke corner mein, jahan AC itna cold hota ki log hoodie pehan ke baithte the. Sana apne jokes ke beech sach bol deti thi. “Aaj mom ne casually pucha, ‘tum theek ho na?’ Aur main almost ro padi. Ridiculous.” Main usse sunta. Kabhi advice deta, kabhi sirf “haan, that’s rough” bolta.

Aur phir dheere dheere mujhe samajh aaya ki Sana ka overconfidence actually confidence nahi, armor hai. Woh har baat pe witty reply deti thi kyunki silence mein uske dar zyada loud ho jaate the. Aur Sana ne bhi notice kar liya ki mera calmness koi superpower nahi tha. Ek din library se nikalte waqt usne bola, “Tum jab ‘it’s fine’ bolte ho na, mujhe lagta hai tum khud ko convince kar rahe ho.” Main ruk gaya. “That obvious?”

“Bro, very obvious.” Usne apna bag shoulder pe adjust kiya. “Tum problems ko aise carry karte ho jaise extra credits milenge.” Phir usne thoda soft tone mein add kiya, “But you don’t have to do that with me.”

Yeh line simple thi, lekin usne meri chest mein kuch unlock kar diya. Main pehli baar samjha ki vulnerability ka matlab sab kuch spill kar dena nahi hota. Kabhi kabhi bas itna keh dena ki “haan, mujhe bhi mushkil ho rahi hai” enough hota hai. Sana ke saath baat karke mujhe apni anxiety ka shape samajh aane laga. Woh random panic attacks jo main “bas thakan hai” bolke ignore karta tha, woh actually signals the. Body aur mind dono bas thak chuke the.

Phir result day aaya. Woh din normal se zyada cruel tha. Practical viva ka score expected se low aaya, aur lab report mein bhi marking strict thi. Sana result sheet dekh kar pehle silent hui, phir hansi—woh wali hansi jo almost break jaisi lagti hai. “Bas yahi bacha tha,” usne kaha. “Ab toh main officially average bhi nahi rahi.”

Main ne sheet dekhi. Mere marks bhi kuch khaas nahi the. Mujhe gussa nahi aaya, bas ek weird numb disappointment hua. Sana ne apna head table pe rakh diya. “Mujhe lag raha hai main fail nahi ho rahi, main bas slowly disappear ho rahi hoon.”

Us line par main ne turant kuch bolne ki jagah uske paas baith gaya. “Sana,” maine dheere se kaha, “marks se tumhari value decide nahi hoti.”

“Pata hai,” usne muffled voice mein bola. “Par dimag ko samjhana padta hai na.”

Us moment mein Neha Khanna, jo senior thi aur library aur labs dono mein frequently dikhti thi, humare paas aayi. Woh hamesha thodi blunt rehti thi, but uski bluntness mein care hoti thi. Usne hum dono ke faces dekhe aur bina intro ke bola, “Lag raha hai tum dono ne sleep ko optional samajh liya hai.”

Sana ne head uthaya. “Neha, hum emotionally collapse ho rahe hain, aur tum attendance mark kar rahi ho?”

Neha ne ek eyebrow raise ki. “Main bas yeh bol rahi hoon ki stress normal hai, isolation nahi. Agar tumhe lag raha hai sab khatam ho gaya, toh ek proper counsellor se baat karo. College mein option hai. Use karne mein koi shame nahi hai.” Phir usne hum dono ko dekha. “Aur ‘main theek hoon’ ka certificate kahin se nahi milta.”

Uski baat seedhi thi, par zaroori thi. Main aur Sana dono chup ho gaye. Neha ne apna bag shoulder pe shift kiya aur jaane lagi, phir palat ke boli, “Help lena weakness nahi hoti. Sirf akelapan strong dikhne ka drama hota hai.”

Jab woh chali gayi, Sana ne mujhe dekha. “She’s terrifying.”

“Helpful bhi,” maine bola.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

Uske baad humne sach mein help lena start kiya. Sana ne college counsellor ka appointment liya, pehle reluctant, phir thoda relieved. Main ne bhi ek senior se baat ki jo pehle same phase se guzra tha. Humne ek dusre ko fix nahi kiya, kyunki koi kisi ko fix nahi kar sakta. Par hum ek dusre ke liye safe starting point ban gaye. Jab Sana ko panic hota, woh mujhe text karti: “5 min call?” Aur main call pe bas usse breathe karne ko kehta. Jab mujhe raat ko chest tight lagti, main use bol deta: “Thoda overwhelmed hoon.” Woh reply karti: “Good. Ab water pee aur hero mat ban.”

Next practical aaya toh lab same thi—same benches, same smell of chemicals, same noisy fans, same overcrowded room. Par hum dono ke beech ka tone badal chuka tha. Sana ab jokes ke saath sach bhi bol deti thi. “Aaj main thodi off hoon, but I’m here.” Main bhi chup rehkar sab kuch carry nahi karta tha. Agar mujhe break chahiye hota, main le leta. Agar help chahiye hoti, main maang leta. Itna simple, aur phir bhi itna difficult.

Lab bench pe ek moment aaya jab Sana ne apne notes side mein rakhe aur bola, “You know what? I thought being strong meant never looking weak. Ab lagta hai strong ka matlab hai—help maang lena before you crash.”

Main ne uski taraf dekha. “And help dena without pretending you’re invincible,” maine add kiya.

Woh muskurayi. “Look at us, growth arc complete.”

“Almost,” maine kaha.

Practical teacher ne uss din humari sheet dekh ke bas itna kaha, “Better.” Aur honestly, woh word kaafi tha. Marks same rahe ya better hue, woh secondary tha. Main aur Sana dono ab bhi semester ke beech the, still tired, still imperfect, still confused about future. Par ab hum confusion ko alone carry nahi kar rahe the. Lab partner se friendship tak ka safar koi grand cinematic moment nahi tha. Woh chhote chhote honest pauses se bana tha—chai ke breaks, late evening lab sessions, half-jokes, half-truths.

Aur shayad Delhi-NCR ki is bhaagti duniya mein wahi sabse real cheez thi: kisi ka tumhe “main theek hoon” ke peeche sun lena. Kisi ka bina judge kiye baith jaana. Kisi ka yeh keh dena ki “tu weak nahi hai, bas thak gaya hai.”

Us din lab se nikalte waqt Sana ne apna bag shoulder pe daala aur bola, “Aarav?”

“Haan?”

“Thanks... for not trying to fix me.”

Main ne thoda sa smile kiya. “Same to you.”

Metro station ki taraf jaate hue traffic ka shor, horn, aur evening crowd sab usual tha. Par mere andar pehli baar woh heavy silence nahi tha jo main kabse carry kar raha tha. Sana mere saath chal rahi thi, aur is baar hum dono ko pretend nahi karna pad raha tha. Bas itna kaafi tha.

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Storydilse ke pyare readers, itni der tak Aarav aur Sana ki is journey ko pyaar dene ke liye dil se thank you. Aapka saath hi in kahaniyon ko zinda rakhta hai. Aise hi padhte rahiye, feel karte rahiye, aur apna khayal rakhna mat bhooliye. ❤️