The Weight of Expectations

WhatsApp Ping

Monday ka 8:17 PM tha jab Aarav ke phone pe ek WhatsApp notification aaya.

Assignment Group.

“Guys, Prof. Rao ne next Friday tak group assignment diya hai. Topic hai: Urban youth and work-life balance. Let’s divide work properly.”

Sana ka message sabse pehle aaya, jaise hamesha aata tha. Aarav ne screen pe dekh ke bas ek thanda sa saans chhoda. “Let’s divide work properly” — ye line group assignment ke saath aise chipki rehti thi jaise North Campus ke chhole-kulche ke saath imli chutney.

Kabir ne turant reply kiya, “Haan yaar, chill. Is baar proper division hoga.”

Do aur log, Nikhil aur Meera, ne “sure” aur “done” bhej diya. Aarav ne kuch nahi likha. Woh bas phone ko side me rakh ke apni PG ki chair par thoda aur peeche lean kar gaya.

Usse pata tha, is “proper division” ka end kya hoga. Pehle sab full enthusiasm, phir sab busy, phir sab invisible. Aur end me ek banda, jo “haan main kar dunga” bolne ki aadat mein phans chuka hota hai, woh poora kaam kar raha hota hai.

Aarav ne apni notebook kholi aur topic likh diya. Uske dimaag me pehle se hi ek line chal rahi thi: Iss baar mat karna, Aarav. Iss baar bas apna part karna. Par uske haath ne us line ko ignore karke research points banana shuru kar diya.

Kyuki aadat bhi ek tarah ka pressure hota hai.

Division Drama

Next day college ke baad canteen me sab mile. North Campus ki canteen ki woh familiar smell—tea, fried snacks, aur thodi si moisture wali old building—Aarav ko hamesha kaafi real lagti thi. Table ke chaaro taraf sab baithe the. Sana apne phone pe kuch scroll kar rahi thi, Kabir ek paper straw ko bend kar-bend kar ke fun bana raha tha, aur Meera apni coffee ke saath serious face bana rahi thi.

Sana boli, “Toh guys, simple karte hain. Main research part dekh leti hoon. I mean, I’ve already done similar stuff in internship reports.”

Kabir turant bola, “Presentation main handle kar lunga. Mera speaking theek hai, no?”

Meera ne kaha, “Main references aur formatting dekh loongi. Bas mujhe time pe content mil jaana chahiye.”

Teenon ne aise bol diya jaise har ek ne half assignment adopt kar liya ho. Aarav chup raha. Kyuki usse pata tha, jo cheezein boli ja rahi hain aur jo actually hoga, unke beech Delhi Metro ke peak hour jaisa gap hai.

“Aur Aarav?” Sana ne uski taraf dekha. “Tu structure bana dega na? Since tu kaafi organized hai.”

Aarav ne ek second ke liye un sabke faces dekhe. Organized. Convenient word tha. Iska matlab hota tha: tum kaam sambhal lo, hum log baad me dekhenge.

“Haan, kar dunga,” Aarav ne automatically bol diya.

Kabir ne hans ke uski back thap-thapayi. “Bhai, tu toh rescue mode me hi rehta hai.”

Aarav smile kar diya, par us smile ke neeche kuch aur jamne laga. Rescue mode. Jaise woh koi superhero ho. Sach toh ye tha ki woh bas har baar appreciation ki bhookh mein extra load utha leta tha. Agar sab bol dete “haan yaar, Aarav ne kaafi help ki,” toh usse lagta shayad sab worth it tha.

Par appreciation kabhi loud nahi aati thi. Sirf kaam aata tha.

Deadline Dhokha

Do din baad group chat me activity phir se start hui.

Sana: “Guys, research almost done. Bas thoda aur add karna hai.”

Kabir: “Presentation ka flow decide kar lo. I’m just a bit tied up with family stuff.”

Meera: “Reference list kal bhej dungi.”

Aarav ne message dekhe aur apna laptop khol liya.

“Thoda aur add karna hai” ka matlab hota tha: kuch bhi clear nahi hai. “Tied up” ka matlab hota tha: main free hoon, bas kaam nahi karna. “Kal bhej dungi” ka matlab hota tha: ya toh kal bhi nahi aayega, ya aayega toh incomplete.

Us raat Aarav ne PG ke desk par laptop khola. Desk ke corner pe chai ka thanda cup, do pens, aur ek half-eaten biscuit packet pada tha. Bahar Patel Nagar side se traffic ka dull shor aa raha tha. PG ke corridor me kisi ke pressure cooker ki seeti bani, aur phir khamoshi.

Aarav ne research ki. Slides banayi. References cross-check kiye. Topic ko urban youth aur work-life balance se nikaal ke actual life ka mirror bana diya. North Campus ke students, part-time jobs, family pressure, internships, attendance, guilt, all of it.

Raat 11 baje Sana ka call aaya.

“Yaar, ek problem ho gayi,” usne casual tone me bola. “Mujhe kal subah office ke liye ek urgent deck finish karna hai. Can you just merge the points? Main kal shaam tak apna research part bhej dungi.”

Aarav ne laptop screen se aankhen hatai. “Kal presentation hai, Sana.”

“Bas yaar, I know. But I’m really stuck. Aur waise bhi main research ka base de rahi hoon na.”

Aarav ne kuch seconds chup rehke kaha, “Theek hai.”

Call cut hote hi usne apna forehead table pe rakh diya. Uske andar irritation bhi thi, aur us irritation ke neeche ek aur layer—hurt. Kyuki gussa tab aur dard deta hai jab saamne wala genuinely careless na ho ke, bas comfortably careless ho.

Kabir ka message aaya midnight ke baad: “Bro, kal main thoda late aaunga. Gurgaon se nikalna padega. Tu intro aur conclusion dekh lena na.”

Aarav ne phone side me rakha aur ek lambe waqt tak ceiling ko dekhta raha.

Usko laga, woh assignments nahi kar raha. Woh sabke excuses ka landfill clean kar raha hai.

Cafeteria Confession

Agli subah canteen me hawa thodi moody thi. Winter ka end tha, par shadow wali thandak abhi bhi reh gayi thi. Aarav, Sana, Kabir aur Meera ek corner table pe baithe the. Presentation se pehle ka tension sabke faces pe alag-alag tarah se dikh raha tha. Sana ke chehre pe polished calm thi, Kabir ke chehre pe fake confidence, Meera ke chehre pe neutral irritation, aur Aarav ke chehre pe woh tiredness jo bina bole sab bata deti hai.

Aarav ne cup side me rakhte hue bola, “Mujhe ek cheez clear nahi ho rahi. Research aur slides ka zyada part mere paas hi kyun aa gaya?”

Table pe ek second ke liye silence aa gaya.

Sana ne hansi me baat udayi. “Arre, aisa thodi hai. Sabne help ki hai na.”

Kabir ne immediately support mode on kiya. “Haan yaar, group assignment hi toh hai. Itna serious mat ho.”

Aarav ne uski taraf dekha. “Group assignment ka matlab ye nahi ki ek banda raat bhar kaam kare aur baaki log bas end me aa ke bol dein ‘we contributed’.”

Meera ne spoon ko coffee me ghumaate hue kaha, “Aarav, tu bhi toh khud hi kar leta hai. Humne force toh nahi kiya.”

Ye line seedha chubhi. Force nahi kiya. Haan, force nahi kiya tha. Bas baar-baar “tu kar dega na,” “tu manage kar lega na,” “tu organized hai na.” Aur phir jab tak woh kar raha hota, sabko lagta tha, problem solved.

Aarav ka jawline tight ho gaya. “Exactly. Force nahi kiya. Isliye aur bhi ajeeb lag raha hai.”

Sana ka face thoda change hua. “Look, I had internship work. Main free nahi thi.”

Kabir ne haath faila diye. “Mere ghar me badi issue chal rahi thi, yaar. Main joke nahi kar raha.”

“Main bhi free nahi thi,” Meera boli.

Aarav ne slowly un sabko dekha. “Sab busy the. Par sab ko kaam bhi chahiye tha. Bas kaam karna kisi ko nahi tha.”

Canteen ki noise unke table ke around thodi dheemi lagne lagi. Kisi aur table pe laughter tha, kisi aur pe chai ki order. Aarav ke liye sab sound blur ho gaya.

Usne pehli baar clearly feel kiya ki unke liye “group” ka matlab support system nahi tha. It was a convenience label.

Professor’s Question

Presentation hall me Prof. Nandini Rao front row me baithi thi. Unki aankhen waise hi sharp thi jaise hamesha hoti thi—students ke face se pehle unke excuses padh leti thi. Grey cotton saree, minimal makeup, aur ek pen jo woh notes ke liye use kar rahi thi.

Group ne presentation start ki. Sana ne intro diya, Kabir ne do slides tak theek se bol diya, Meera ne references ka part sambhala. Aarav ne apne slides smoothly chalaye. Topic ka flow actually kaafi decent tha.

Phir Prof. Rao ne pen utha ke ek simple sa question poochha.

“Ye methodology kis basis pe choose ki?”

Hall me ek chhota sa pause.

Kabir ki smile freeze ho gayi. Sana ne aankhon se Aarav ki taraf dekha. Meera ne apne notes ulat-pulat karne start kar diye.

Prof. Rao ne dobara, aur thoda calmly, poochha. “Aap logon ne survey approach liya hai ya comparative analysis? Aur why this one over the other?”

Silence.

Aarav ko laga uska heartbeat ek second ke liye loud ho gaya. Usne turant answer diya, “Ma’am, humne comparative analysis choose ki because…”

Aur phir woh bolta gaya. Data points, rationale, limitations, examples. Prof. Rao ne bas dekhte hue do teen follow-up questions puche, aur Aarav ne unka answer diya. Kyuki usne waise hi poora framework khud build kiya tha.

Presentation khatam hui. Class ka usual murmur start hua. Group members ki side se relief ki saans aayi.

Par Prof. Rao ne unhe rok diya.

“Ruko,” unhone kaha. “Ek minute.”

Unki nazar ek-ek student pe gayi. “Interesting. Content strong tha, but ownership uneven lag rahi thi.”

Kabir ne nervous laugh diya. Sana ka face still tha. Meera ne apne nails pe nazar daal li.

Prof. Rao ne seedha Aarav ko dekha. “Aapne answer diya. To main assume karun ki aapne core work kiya?”

Aarav ne sirf haan me sar hila diya.

Phir Prof. Rao ne group ki taraf dekh ke poochha, “Aur baaki logon ne?”

Ek aur silence.

Yeh silence hi sabse loud tha.

Credit Ka Khel

Class ke baad corridor me sab ek saath walk kar rahe the, par group ka rhythm toot chuka tha. Sana pehle to casual thi, phir thodi defensive ho gayi.

“Arre, ma’am ko aise hi lagta hai,” usne haste hue kaha. “Main research points bhej hi toh rahi thi.”

Kabir ne bhi turant apni taraf se add kiya, “Haan, aur presentation toh maine bhi achhi ki thi. Bas ma’am ne question Aarav se poocha kyunki woh last me bol raha tha.”

Meera ne bola, “Main references handle kar rahi thi. That’s also work.”

Aarav ne unhe suna. Har ek sentence me apni image bachane ki ek chhoti si koshish thi. Credit ka khel, bas. Kaun kitna dikhega, kaun kitna actually kaam karega, isme farak unhe tab pad raha tha jab exposure ho gaya tha.

Aarav ne bahut dheere se kaha, “Tum logon ne jo kiya, woh obviously useful tha. But useful aur equal same nahi hota.”

Sana ne uski taraf dekha. “Toh tu kya kehna chahta hai?”

Aarav ka throat dry tha, par is baar usne words ko swallow nahi kiya.

“Main bas itna keh raha hoon ki agli baar main sabka kaam carry nahi karunga. Agar group hai, toh group ki tarah kaam karo. Agar busy ho, toh pehle bolo. Last minute pe aake credit lena easy hota hai, par kaam karne wale ko pata hota hai kitna load tha.”

Kabir ne awkwardly smile ki. “Yaar, tu itna serious kyun ho gaya? It’s just one assignment.”

Aarav ne uski taraf dekha, aur uski awaaz pehli baar soft nahi rahi. “Mere liye nahi tha.”

Ye line aise boli jaise usne koi bahut purani baat finally kaha ho.

Sana ke face pe for the first time polished confidence crack hua. Thoda embarrassment, thoda irritation, aur thoda genuine guilt—sab ek saath aa gaye. Kabir ne kuch bolne ke liye muh khola, par phir band kar diya.

Prof. Rao corridor ke doosre end se unhe dekh rahi thi, bina interfere kiye. Jaise unhe pehle se pata ho ki ye moment aane wala hai.

Boundary Line

Uske baad group chat me kuch der tak koi message nahi aaya.

Phir Sana ne likha: “Okay. Fair point. I should’ve been clearer about my workload.”

Kabir ne sirf “my bad” bheja.

Meera ne ek simple sa “sorry” type kiya.

Aarav ne phone ko dekha. Is baar usne long paragraph nahi likha, na hi sabko reassure kiya ki “chalo koi baat nahi.” Bas itna likha:

“Next time, jo part lena ho, time pe le lena. And jo nahi karna, woh clearly bol dena. Main cover nahi karunga.”

Message bhejne ke baad uske andar ek ajeeb si shanti aayi. Relief type ki, but more like a weightless silence after a long traffic jam.

Usne realize kiya ki helpful hona aur exploited hona same cheez nahi hai. Help tab tak help hoti hai jab tak woh choice ho. Jab choice expectation ban jaaye, tab woh respect nahi, routine ban jaati hai.

North Campus ke road pe shaam ka light golden tha. Rickshaw wale horn de rahe the. Students group me haste hue nikal rahe the. Life waise hi chal rahi thi.

Par Aarav ke andar ek chhota sa shift ho chuka tha.

Woh ab bhi responsible tha. Ab bhi quiet tha. Ab bhi “haan” bolne se pehle sochta nahi tha, par ab soch raha tha.

Kyun?

Kyuki pehli baar usne apni self-worth ko assignment ke end me nahi, uske pehle rakha tha.

Aur yahi uska real submission tha.

Khatam