Solo Male 4 - 6 Minutes Comedy
Future Me, Please Hold
Full Shooting Script in Industry Courier Monospace Format
FADE IN:
INT. MESSY STUDIO APARTMENT - NIGHT
Ek chhota, cluttered studio. Desk lamp ki peeli roshni. Laptop screen ka blue glow. Background mein kitchen bulb flicker kar raha hai. Desk par laptop, phone, energy drink, sticky notes, tangled charging cables. Ek 25-ish CHAOTIC FREELANCE APP DEVELOPER hoodie, pajama shorts, mismatched socks, stubble, aur tangled earbuds ke saath chair par jhuka hua hai.
Woh laptop screen ko ghur raha hai.
DEVELOPER
(muttering)
Bas, bas... deploy ho ja. Ek chhota sa app hai.
Time travel nahi, sirf... future support.
Woh phone uthata hai. App open hai: “Future Me, Please Hold.”
DEVELOPER
(to phone)
Okay. Future me, agar tu mujhe sun raha hai,
toh stock tip de. Apple? Tesla? Crypto? Kuch toh de.
He taps SEND.
PHONE VIBRATES instantly.
He reads the reply aloud.
DEVELOPER
“Pehle paani pee.”
(beat)
Kya?
He laughs, half-confused.
DEVELOPER
Future me, very funny. Ab serious ho ja.
Market ka secret bata.
PHONE VIBRATES again.
DEVELOPER
(reading)
“Hydration seriously le.”
(to himself)
Yeh future me nahi, meri maa lag rahi hai.
He leans back, suspicious.
DEVELOPER
Nahi, nahi. Glitch hoga. Ek aur try.
He types fast.
DEVELOPER
(typing, then aloud)
Prove it. Meri next move bata.
SEND.
A beat.
PHONE VIBRATES.
DEVELOPER
(reading)
“Abhi right side pe jo charging cable padi hai,
usko unplug karke seedha kar. Aur haan,
energy drink band kar.”
He slowly looks right. The cable is a disaster.
DEVELOPER
(softly)
Okay... creepy.
He unplug-sorts the cable a little, still not convinced.
DEVELOPER
Coincidence. Pure coincidence.
He starts pacing in the tiny space.
DEVELOPER
Main genius hoon. Main future se advice le raha hoon.
Kal se main... rich.
PHONE VIBRATES.
DEVELOPER
(reading, offended)
“Ex ko abhi text kar.”
(beat)
Nahi.
PHONE VIBRATES again.
DEVELOPER
(reading)
“Tu ‘seen’ pe ghost hua tha. Emotional maturity ka
bill abhi due hai.”
(to phone)
Future me, tu mere breakup ka auditor kab se ban gaya?
PHONE VIBRATES.
DEVELOPER
(reading)
“Jab se tu apne aap ko stock market se zyada
avoid kar raha hai.”
He stops. That hits.
The room hums. Kitchen bulb flickers.
DEVELOPER
(trying to joke)
Wah. Future me bhi therapy ka subscription liya hai?
PHONE VIBRATES.
DEVELOPER
(reading)
“Aur haan, stop romanticizing future. Tere paas
abhi bhi laundry basket mein 11 din purane kapde pade hain.”
He looks toward an offscreen laundry basket, embarrassed.
DEVELOPER
Okay, rude.
PHONE VIBRATES immediately.
DEVELOPER
(reading, quieter)
“Kyuki main tu hoon. Aur mujhe yaad hai tu kya karta
hai jab stressed hota hai. Tu kaam ke naam pe sabse pehle
sleep skip karta hai, phir paani skip karta hai, phir khana
skip karta hai, phir life decisions skip karta hai.”
He sits down slowly. The joke lands. Hard.
DEVELOPER
(to himself)
Oof.
He stares at the sticky notes near the monitor. One note clearly says: CALL MOM.
PHONE VIBRATES.
DEVELOPER
(reading)
“Desk ke neeche jo sticky note chipka hai, us par likha
hai ‘Call Mom.’ Kab se padha nahi?”
He freezes.
DEVELOPER
(whisper)
Tu sab dekh raha hai?
PHONE VIBRATES.
DEVELOPER
(reading)
“Nahi. Bas woh cheezein dekh raha hoon jo tu ignore karta hai.”
A long beat. He exhales.
DEVELOPER
Theek hai. Paani peeta hoon. Khush?
He grabs a glass, fills it at the sink just offscreen. Drinks.
PHONE VIBRATES.
DEVELOPER
(reading)
“Good. Ab ex ko text kar: ‘Sorry for disappearing like a coward.’”
DEVELOPER
Yaar...
PHONE VIBRATES.
DEVELOPER
(reading)
“Yaar baad mein. Growth pehle.”
He looks at the phone, then at the energy drink. He pushes the can away.
DEVELOPER
(smirking)
Theek hai, future me. Tu jeet gaya.
(beat)
But agar tu sach mein main hai na... toh kal subah mujhe
ek aur reminder bhej dena.
He starts typing with a grin.
DEVELOPER
(reading as he types)
“Apne life choices ko uninstall kar.”
SEND.
PHONE VIBRATES one last time.
DEVELOPER
(reading, amused)
“Already scheduled. 7:00 AM. Snooze mat karna, loser.”
He bursts out laughing, full and genuine.
DEVELOPER
Haan, theek hai. Loser hi sahi.
(beat, softer)
But maybe... less dehydrated loser.
He raises the glass in a tiny toast to the phone.
CUT TO BLACK.
TITLE CARD: FUTURE ME, PLEASE HOLD
FADE OUT.
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